Monday, January 9, 2012

If You Really Knew Me

if you really knew'd know i'm easily distracted and i'm terrified of getting burned. you'd know i LOVE to sing and sing loud. dancing....dancing is a great past time, which goes great with laughing; also another LOVE of mine. you'd know my party side becomes to tender and i can not watch the sad animal commercials on tv that ask for my money because if i had the money, i would easily donate.

 if you really knew'd know i probably have little person's complex. i have to be bigger and better than everyone else. i want a big truck and i'm not afraid of big guys. you'd know i think i can beat anyone up if i let myself, but you'd also know i could never really hurt someone. you'd know i LOVE country. country everything from music to mud to trucks to boys with all of the above. i LOVE off roading in a truck or a four wheeler and the dirtier you get the more fun you had. also if you didn't have to put it in four wheel drive you did not go far enough. you would also know that i don't mind a good rap with eminem or any of his buddies though.

if you really knew'd know i let myself be used to easily and much too easily. i stuggle saying no to people especially boys because i do not like to let them down. it makes me sick to be in trouble or have someone mad at me. i like happiness and enjoy spreading the LOVE. you'd know there's probably a little slut in me but that i wish there wasn't, and that i'm truly scared no boy is ever going to love me for me. you'd know i'm a sucker for LOVE. LOVE songs, LOVE letters, falling in LOVE. i LOVE too easily but hurt too easily in return. i want LOVE so badly i think i let candied words and buttered lies convince me i have "LOVE" when i don't.

 if you really knew'd know i have been hurt too many times to count and forgotten even more. you'd know i have an ever growing SAD playlist on my ipod and listen to it much to often. i hate crying in front of people because i am bigger and better and should never let something that silly out in public. you'd know i cry quite a bit into my pillow and that sometimes i'm sure my pillow is my best friend, along with my jack russell, roxie. ice cream and a movie curled up on my bed is my idea of a good night, but LOVE to hit the town with some friends. 

 if you really knew'd know there is so much more to me than meets the eye and i'm always trying to improve, but quite often i fail. sometimes i try to be something i'm not. and what i am is a tender hearted, cowgirl redneck, curled up party gal. no matter the circumstance i provide the most fun possible. take it or leave it.

 if you really knew me.....would you want to?

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