My Journey

There comes a time in your life when moving becomes more than just a new house, or new school. It means saying goodbye to too many people and leaving a home you love. Of course your parents tell you that making new friends will be easy because you are such an energetic outgoing person, but that doesn't take away your pain.

 I spent four years after my family's move to Utah from Texas friendless. Spending most of my time playing softball, reading or my average of three movies a day. Even after finally moving into our own house in Cedar Hills I struggled to make friends because my scabs from leaving my two besties in Texas had just barely turned to scars and I did not think I could endure any more heartache. My parents were my best friends until they decided it was time I tried a little bit harder. 

I don't know what compelled me to continue texting him that warm summer night but I did, and I will be forever grateful.

Not only was he easy to talk to but he was sweet and hilariously witty.

I never thought I could have a friend that close ever again.

Our chatter turned into a relationship and we spent every moment we could together while still accomplishing all our ordinary tasks.

Of course there were some hiccups to overcome....the fact that I was 16 and he was 18 and graduated was kind of a big one. My parents were hesitant as were his, but we both showed such responsibility that it worked out. 

 So we had four months of complete bliss and happiness. Neither one of us had sparkled this much in too long. 

 Until he started to step back a little. I should have read the signs better but I was "blinded by love". 

Why didn't I recognize the approach of some bigger ordeal??

Five days before my 17th birthday, he broke up with me. It was extremely rough and I spent many hours shedding buckets and buckets of tears. 

Waking up each morning with puffy eyes and a blaring headache for weeks. 

Finally as the agony subsided I could see more clearly that this wasn't all in vain, but that I had retained something he taught me. People (guys) do like me and that I can put myself out there again. 

The road back was still a treacherous one as I could not manage to lift the heartache from my soul, or heal the cracks where his words buried themselves. I did not know why, but I knew I had to be done with it. Six months later I receive a very large and heartfelt text from him. Purely of my own design did I choose to text him back. It was extremely perilous for my well being and delicate work in rekindling a friendship with him, but I have managed to do it. Though as I continue on in my life, I still look at it as a great learning experience. Painful as it was and still may be; I am now stronger because of it, whether I believe it or not.

Ordinary World

I am almost 18. I have been in love and might still love him. I have an amazing best friend who on occasion drives me crazy. I go to school, clean the kitchen and go to work. Emily and I are practically glued together at the hip.
I eat,
sleep,
and  breathe softball.

I crave the feeling of adrenaline and exhilaration every time I walk out on the field. 

It's my release, 

my escape,

my freedom.

It is something to focus on without having to remember I just got yelled at, or that I bombed my last history test. Both my parents work a lot, so my life seems to revolve around my little brother. Making sure he gets from here to there. Are his chores done? Did he do his homework? 

Pretty ordinary wouldn't you say? 

But if Emily died, I would die. 

If one of my parents died, I wouldn't know how to survive. 

If I became crippled....I can't even imagine...

I would have no purpose. How could I live? 

On the other hand......I graduate this year! 

What if Em and I move in with her sister? 

I am going off to college, how will I handle myself? 

I am growing up....am I ready?

BlurBs

Young, Wild, and Free: Wiz  Kalifa
Wiz and Snoop could care less about who watches them live their life. So WHAT they get drunk, and smoke weed, and go out because their just living young, wild and free. Wiz thinks that this is what high school is all about while Snoop wants to grow out of his peach fuzz, but both of them love messing around too much to ever grow up.


You Lie: The Band Perry
Poor sweet Miss Molly thought she had picked the perfect man, till she found him sulking around like a crow with backstabbing Betty. She should have read the signs better but not only had Molly and Chad been dating for a year and a half but they were engaged to be married at her daddy's ranch in September. After much heartache and tears Molly finally does what she should have done a long time ago.

Starts With Goodbye: Carrie Underwood
While Sam can't see what is still to come, she is faced with a tough decision of whether or not it's time to move on with her life. She can't picture herself without him, but she can't help but feel something better is out there. Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye, even if it means having to cry.