If You Really Knew Me

if you really knew me....you'd know i'm easily distracted and i'm terrified of getting burned. you'd know i LOVE to sing and sing loud. dancing....dancing is a great past time, which goes great with laughing; also another LOVE of mine. you'd know my party side becomes to tender and i can not watch the sad animal commercials on tv that ask for my money because if i had the money, i would easily donate.

 

 if you really knew me....you'd know i probably have little person's complex. i have to be bigger and better than everyone else. i want a big truck and i'm not afraid of big guys. you'd know i think i can beat anyone up if i let myself, but you'd also know i could never really hurt someone. you'd know i LOVE country. country everything from music to mud to trucks to boys with all of the above. i LOVE off roading in a truck or a four wheeler and the dirtier you get the more fun you had. also if you didn't have to put it in four wheel drive you did not go far enough. you would also know that i don't mind a good rap with eminem or any of his buddies though.

if you really knew me....you'd know i let myself be used to easily and much too easily. i stuggle saying no to people especially boys because i do not like to let them down. it makes me sick to be in trouble or have someone mad at me. i like happiness and enjoy spreading the LOVE. you'd know there's probably a little slut in me but that i wish there wasn't, and that i'm truly scared no boy is ever going to love me for me. you'd know i'm a sucker for LOVE. LOVE songs, LOVE letters, falling in LOVE. i LOVE too easily but hurt too easily in return. i want LOVE so badly i think i let candied words and buttered lies convince me i have "LOVE" when i don't.

 if you really knew me.....you'd know i have been hurt too many times to count and forgotten even more. you'd know i have an ever growing SAD playlist on my ipod and listen to it much to often. i hate crying in front of people because i am bigger and better and should never let something that silly out in public. you'd know i cry quite a bit into my pillow and that sometimes i'm sure my pillow is my best friend, along with my jack russell, roxie. ice cream and a movie curled up on my bed is my idea of a good night, but LOVE to hit the town with some friends. 

 if you really knew me.....you'd know there is so much more to me than meets the eye and i'm always trying to improve, but quite often i fail. sometimes i try to be something i'm not. and what i am is a tender hearted, cowgirl redneck, curled up party gal. no matter the circumstance i provide the most fun possible. take it or leave it.

 if you really knew me.....would you want to?

Insanely Jealous

In Search Of Cinderella

From dusk to dawn,

From town to town,

Without a single clue,

I seek the tender, slender foot,

To fit the crystal shoe,

From dusk to dawn,

I try it on

Each damsel that I meet.

And I still love her so, but oh,

I've started hating feet.

Sheldon Allan Silverstein

Ugh how I feel this man's pain! You know boys are pretty stupid and they'll say just about anything to get what they want. I'm sweet, kind, fun and I look and look and I try and try and all I'm coming up with is that I have started hating "feet". Yet I keep going....this next poem also describes me perfectly!

Kick It Again

So you heard there was a spark of love that I have for you
You come back to kill it like you always do
You found it weak and tremblin' hangin' on just by a thread
And you kicked it choke it stepped on it and broke it left it half to death
Kick it again it's still breathing
Kick it again I think I seen it move just a little bitty
Kick it again it's still living
So kick it again and then again and then you'll kill my love for you


You're gonna have to do much more this time than a-make it crawl
A cheatin' on it doesn't seem to work at all
And it won't do no good to try to shame it to death
Cause it's raspin' gaspin' crawlin' callin' to you with each dying breath
Kick it again it's still breathing...

Sheldon Allan Silverstein

No matter how many times I seem to get hurt or used by not just men in general but the same man, I keep going back for more! You'd think I'd learn or he'd finally kick me to death. Though of recently one particular guy finally did it....he finally kicked me to death, but the funny thing is that I'm still breathing. I'm still living. What an idea, that I can still live without him....no matter how many bruises I sustained, I am still living! Did I learn though? Well we'll have to see.....

I am very jealous of how Shel Silverstein writes because he has a sense of funny but puts quite serious ideas into his poems. Some of them are completely silly and simply fun while so many of them also have huge double meanings. People love and hate Shel, but I am a huge fan! So much so that I wish I could have his talent, and he would die;) haha Still I wish that I could master seriousness while seeming to write something silly and short.